Saturday, December 31, 2005

Reversed Perceptions

We all have issues, as well as undesirable qualities or traits that we don't like about ourselves. Most of us realize that we are not perfect and that it is natural to have unpleasant thoughts, motivations, desires, or feelings. However, when a person does not acknowledge these, they may ascribe those characteristics to someone else, deeming other people instead as angry, jealous, or insecure. In psychological terms, such blaming and fault finding is called projection.When we are the target of projections, it can be confusing and frustrating, not to mention maddening, particularly when we know that we are not the cause of another person's distress. Even people who are well aware of their issues may find that sensitive subjects can bring up unexpected projections. They may feel insecure about a lack of funds and thus view a friend as extravagant. Or, if they really want to get in shape, they may preach the benefits of exercise to anyone and everyone. While we can try to avoid people we know who engage in projecting their "stuff" onto others, we can't always steer clear of such encounters. We can, however, deflect some projections through mindfulness and meditation. A useful visualization tool is to imagine wrapping ourselves in a protective light everyday. At other times, we may have to put up a protective shield when we feel a projection coming our way, reminding ourselves that someone else's issues are not ours. Although it's difficult not to react when we are the recipient of a projection, it is a good idea to try to remain calm and let the other person know if they are being unreasonable and disrespectful. We all know that it's not fun to be dumped on. Likewise, we should be mindful that we don't take our own frustrations out on others. When we take ownership of our thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings, we are less likely to project our issues or disowned qualities onto others. --From My Daily Ohm

~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave...they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Psalm 55

Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication! Attend to me, and answer me; I am overcome by my trouble. I am distraught by the noise of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked. For they bring trouble upon me, and in anger they cherish enmity against me. My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, "O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yea, I would wander afar, I would lodge in the wilderness, [Selah] I would haste to find me a shelter from the raging wind and tempest." Destroy their plans, O Lord, confuse their tongues; for I see violence and strife in the city. Day and night they go around it on its walls; and mischief and trouble are within it, ruin is in its midst; oppression and fraud do not depart from its market place. It is not an enemy who taunts me -- then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me -- then I could hide from him. But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to hold sweet converse together; within God's house we walked in fellowship. Let death come upon them; let them go down to Sheol alive; let them go away in terror into their graves. But I call upon God; and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he will hear my voice. He will deliver my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. God will give ear, and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old; because they keep no law, and do not fear God. [Selah] My companion stretched out his hand against his friends, he violated his covenant. His speech was smoother than butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords. Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. But thou, O God, wilt cast them down into the lowest pit; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in thee.

Collyn C.
~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave....
they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~

Friday, December 23, 2005

My Surprise Birthday Party! =)

I just want to share some pictures. :)
Last December 17, my friends planned a surprise birthday party for me and they did that with the help of my sis, Sheela. Boy, I was surprised. At first, I was planning to go out with my friend..unfortunately my sis convinced me to stay at the store, so I stayed there. Now, I know why...they had a plan....I just want to thank you guys! You're the best. :) I am so thankful for having wonderful friends like you.
A friend wrote me a letter....and I want to post it here. =) I hope you don't mind, don't worry..I will not post your name. :)
Collyn,Happy Birthday! Thank you for being a wonderful part of my world. Remember that you are a rare person and a special friend. Rest assured that aside from your Family, you are loved by your friends, that includes me. In my quiet moments with God, I never stopped thanking him for giving me a wonderful friend like you. I want you to know that you are special to me and I will never get tired of buying twister fries for you. :)If you have some errands to do and you need a bodyguard or alalay, I'm just a text away for sure I am always available. Basta ikaw. The gift of friendship is what I can offer to you right now because this is the only thing that money cant buy. You have everything you need, you're beautiful inside and out, you have lots of friends, friends who are loyal and who loves you so much. Your loving familiy and a job that keeps you busy.. If you are opening your doors for a romantic relationship.. I pray that you find the right guy and ikaw lang makakapag sabi kung sino yung right guy. If ever meron na you tell me his name I will help you pray for him. Just make sure that he loves you more than you love him neh. I just pray that all of the desires of your heart will be granted by God.. He will naman diba, as long as they are according to His will. And He will grant them in his own sweet and perfect time.I know a lot of people wants the best for you.. and I am one of them. I want the best for you.. kaya kahit di ako the best na friend mo.. I'm trying to be best just for you. :) You will always have a special place here in my heart. I'm committing myself to you, I will be your loyal friend.. and your friend forever.Alam ko di ka sanay na nagsesenti ako, pero lahat ng sinabi ko dyan walang halong biro.. totoo lahat yan. Happy Birthday !!!

Till next time my dear.....

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/26/05 5:55 AM Permalink
Wow.. this friend really writes from the heart, I can feel the sincerity.. you're not only very lucky but very blessed to have this friend.. if I were you I will really keep this friend.. ;)

Thursday, December 15, 2005


I would like to share something about my daddy...He's been a very good loving father to us and a loving husband to my mother. We were loved, protected, taken cared of and the most important of all - being introduced to God. We were like Diamonds, that is how precious we are to our daddy.He strived hard to give us a good life, good education and be provided us with everything we need and asked for.My dad is a cheerful man, he never lets a problem get the best of him. Whenever he gets into an argument or talks about life and everything, he would always say " ham ham lo, boi iaw kin" (meaning no problem, it's okay, don't worry about it).He has always been a good friend and very generous not only to his family but to others as well.Last November 2003, he was diagnosed with the Big C. The cancer did not change his love for the Lord Almighty. He remained the same daddy we loved. Despite of his illness, he humbly served the Lord by teaching the kids in the church to form a musical band. All throughout his life music has been his passion and he really enjoyed playing music for the Lord.We're still thankful each and everyday. I know that God has a plan for us and everything happens for a reason. I know that God doesn't want our dad to suffer anymore. He's at peace now with our creator.Only God and my dad knows how much we loved and cared for him. He is our angel. He will always be in our hearts with all the wonderful memories.He may not be a perfect father but he is close to being one...Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhiarc 12/20/05 6:39 AM Permalink
just imagine this, in heaven, God with his arms wide open welcoming your Father saying "well done my good and faithful servant." smile my friend :)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/19/05 7:47 AM Permalink
death is all in the circle of life.. from what you have written, I can say that your dad has served his purpose in life... :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

My Loss

Hi! I missed you guys :) I've been busy and I know that most of you know what have just happened. My daddy passed away and joined our good Lord Almighty last November 25, 2005. For those who didn't know what happened, I'll give you the details.November 12 (Saturday). My daddy's mouth is starting to bleed, when he spits, his saliva includes blood. We were alarmed so we tried to call his doctor for check up. Unfortunately his doctor is in Paris and she will only be back Monday, so we have to wait till Monday to see her.November 13 (Monday). Daddy went to Manila with Sheela, my sister. His Oncologist was even surprised when she saw my daddy. She said he looks better and he gained weight..well, that is true...everyday he have is exercise. After his second feeding around 9 am, he stays in the garden with me and my sister and we usually walk with him. After 2 rounds around the house, he takes his seat and rest for a while, then after 10 to 15 minutes, he'll walk again. He does this everyday. Then every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, me and my sister will take him to Mount Carmel for his physiotherapy. He could even walk up the stairs, that is why we were confident that he is strong but of course he have to do it slowly. While my mom, she prepares the food for my dad every morning, she have a list of menu or diet plan for daddy. His Oncologist was happy of the result. However, she is uncertain with the wound around the right side of his neck. It has an open wound and if he moves that requires a lot of force, it would usually bleed. She saw this and told my sister to talk to Dr. Roasa, his EENT. So they left St. Luke's then headed to UST to see the other doctor. The result was disheartening. He said that the neck area was fine, however the reason why he bleeds is that the cancer cells are already eating up his blood vessels. We are able to control the cancer cells in the neck area that is why it spread to his blood vessels. And he said that daddy may die either of bleeding or difficulty breathing. Daddy didn't know this. We do not want him to know, but I know deep inside he knows it. It was really hard to accept it but what? We couldn't do anything but to continue to pray. We only have prayers...nothing but prayers. Only God knows what's best. Its hard to control the emotions. Every time we're with daddy, we have to stop crying and show him that we're happy and smiling. We cannot cry in front of him...if we do, it will surely break his heart and this might affect his condition and we do not want that to happen.November 15 (Tuesday). Around 3 a.m. Daddy woke up and he went straight to the rest room then back to his bed to sleep. Then 6 a.m., time for his feeding, my sister is trying to wake him up but he is not opening his eyes. He's also not moving but they checked his blood pressure and pulse, they're okay, just normal. But still, he's not waking up. My sister called our uncle and aunts, so that they can rush him to the hospital. I was on my way home from work at that time and I didn't know what was happening. While driving I received a call from my sister asking me where I was but when I asked her why she is asking she didn't say anything. She said she's just asking then hung up. I know something was wrong so I hurried to go home. When I arrived, my mom and my sister were still waiting for my uncle to arrive. We tried to wake him up again but still same result, then we decided to just bring him to the hospital and we didn't wait for my uncle. Me, Mommy and Ann Ann with the help of our two house helper, we carried our dad to the car.When we arrived at the hospital, the doctors on duty wants to put some tubes in his throat and they were planning to put a hole in his throat, we asked them if it will help daddy but they said it will only clear if there are phlegm. We also called his doctor from Manila and asked him if that is the best thing to do, because we really do not want my see my dad with tubes and will not even help him. And he said that this will no longer help daddy, we will just make him suffer more, the doctor told us that all we need to do is to pray, that if this is the time that God is taking him, just surrender to his will. And we did.....I was so greatest fear has finally come...losing a father. It's really devastating. I just can't believe what has just happened...the night before I left I was just talking with him, and I slept beside him...then now...this...I'm about to lose him. The doctor said that most probably he only have 24 to 48 hours to live....the pain that we felt is so deep...words cannot describe and express the hurt that we are feeling.
Around 7 in the evening, me and mommy went home to get some pajamas for daddy and other things since we will be staying at the hospital. While we were packing our things, I received a text message from my friends saying that daddy is finally awake. I immediately called my sister and she said that he is awake...Me and Mommy were so happy that we immediately went back at the hospital to see him.
The next morning the doctor was also surprised to see my daddy --that he was finally awake. The doctor advised us to just bring him home since he's already fine. So we took him home. After what happened we noticed that his left hand and left legs were weak already. When he stands, we need to hold him to support him, we would usually put his arms around my shoulder, on the other side, my sister. We would have to walk slowly and my mother would hold his legs so that he wouldn't trip. Although he is weak, he still wants to stand and walk. The following morning, mommy and daddy were talking and my mom asked him if he knows what happened last Tuesday...he said that he didn't know that he was sleeping that long, he said that it was like he was traveling and he said that he was very tired. He said that it was like riding an airplane, all he can see is white and there are no other people. Then mommy told him that next time, if he's going to travel he have to tell her first. It was a miracle, our prayers were answered, God gave us another chance to be with our dad.
November 25 (Friday) After work I went straight home with Ann because we were planning to go to SSS to apply for an ID later that morning. When we arrived, I stayed in his room with Mommy and Ann, we were just talking. Around 8:00 a.m. Me and mommy bathe him and changed his pajamas. Before we left, I even told my dad that I will be coming home late since I will have to go to SSS with Ann and he even nodded. Same with my mom, she told my dad that she will go and open the shop, then he nodded. He was okay when he left him. 9 a.m. - My sister changed his shirt again because he was sweating. Then she cleaned his wound, my sister is the one who always do the dressing...well, that's because she's not afraid of blood, unlike me (I remembered when I first saw him bleed, I almost fainted!), my sister is the tougher one. After cleaning and dressing, helped my dad to lie down to take a rest. Then daddy closed his eyes, in a few seconds, he just stopped breathing......My sister immediately checked the pulse and his heartbeat....She can hear daddy's heartbeat beating slowly and slowly until it stopped.......Sheela, immediately called me and mommy told us to come home immediately. I was in the middle of the line securing an SSS ID when I received the call, my sister told me that daddy stopped breathing...I immediately went back home then I called my uncle to have him pick up my mom from the shop but they did not tell her yet....she only knew what happened when my sister called her greatest fear has finally come...losing him. When we arrived home, I was still hoping that daddy will suddenly open his eyes...but no...he was I stare at him...I can feel that he is at peace. It seems like he was just sleeping...I knew that this day would come but I didn't expect it to be this quick. My world came crashing down..... It's difficult to accept losing someone very dear to our lives....but we need to move on. I know this is the best for him. God is good. He didn't want my dad to suffer anymore. He is in a better place now. He is our angel and I know he is watching over us. He will always be in our hearts.
~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave....they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~
God keeps his promise and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/19/05 7:33 AM Permalink
My heart goes out to you and to your family. God always takes the good ones :) He is now with the Creator... and remember you have us.. youf friends.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Life is what it is- nothing more-nothing less. When we view it unrealistically we're always going to to be disappointed. When we view it honestly, accepting that life is not always fair and people are not perfect, we find, to our amazement, that disappointments don't knock us off our feet any more.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Miss You Guys!

Hi all!
It's been a long time and I really missed you guys a lot! I've been busy lately and I think you all know it by now since I don't have much time to update my blog. I have even tried to consider deleting this journal but I guess I changed my mind that's why I'm here....updating it...hehehe...Another reason why I updated because a good friend sent me a text message early this morning asking me update them about me...Well, as you wish... :)
Now, what happened for the last few days or should I say weeks?
* Friends ~ Last October 16 (Sunday) I had a lunch date with two of my good friends. We ate at Chic N Ribs. Well, that is her fav place, since that's the only place where we feel very comfortable and we can do what we want! Just imagine the long chit chat we had...and we actually stayed there for about 4 hours! Can you beat that? We almost ordered our dinner there! haha....How bout next time you want to have our lunch and dinner there?
Another reason to be happy is that one of my friends way back in highschool visited me last sunday! He usually stays in Manila and I think the last time he visited me was like..ummm...ahh....oh, my 16th birthday! LOL! Yeah that long! He just visited a friend here in Pampanga and thought of droppin by at my place. We didn't talk that long since it was already late when he arrived. Hmmm....In some way, I feel a sad...I miss my goody goody highschool friends. Although I still talk to some of them especially those friends that are in the US...Yes, they left me and Cha here...but we still have each other so..its okay. Anyway, they always check if I'm okay or not. They never forget to send me simple messages. That's why I am so blessed with my friends....except for ex bestfriend. I still feel bad about it but no, I will not talk about it. I know you want details but I can't I don't want to talk about it.....not today not tomorrow.....but maybe next week? haha..I guess next time. :)
*Daddy ~ He still have his regular check up every 3 weeks. And his next schedule is next week. He is also continuing his rehab sessions 3 times a week. He has another lump on his upper neck it is still small and I hope it will not grow bigger, because if it does..he might need another radiation. :( Please continue to pray for him...and for my family.
It's already time, I'll just give you more updates next break is over. ;)
Love you all! muah muahWritten by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
Comment from mhiarc 10/28/05 11:45 PM Permalink
You have asked people to pray for you and your family.. specially sa dad mo.. ohbkors.. you owe them some updates too.. specially with what is happening with your dad.. that's all and thank you for the update.. in my case i have to ask ppl very close to you about your dad kc parang di ka komportable na pinaguusapan yun when ur with us. . kaya i asked you to update na lang your blog..hehehe. enyway thanks.. and God bless.. we'll continue praying for your dad with the rest of the family.

Friday, October 7, 2005


Spiritual Vitamins A to Z
Anxious? Take Vitamin A.All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Blue? Take Vitamin B.Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. (Ps 103:1)
Crushed? Take Vitamin C.Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Pet 5:7)
Depressed? Take Vitamin D.Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)
Empty? Take Vitamin E.Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. (Ps 100:4)
Fearful? Take Vitamin F.Fear not, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God.(Isaiah 41:10)
Greedy? Take Vitamin G.Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Luke 12:15)
Hesitant? Take Vitamin H.How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of the messenger who announces peace, who brings good news, who announces salvation, who says to Zion, "Your God reigns." (Isaiah 52:7)
Insecure? Take Vitamin I.I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
Jittery? Take Vitamin J.Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
Know nothing? Take Vitamin K.Know this that the Lord is God, it is He that made us and not we ourselves. (Ps 100:3)
Lonely? Take Vitamin L.Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. (Mt ess,and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)
Nervous? Take Vitamin N.Never, no never will I leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)
Overwhelmed? Take Vitamin O. Overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21)
Perplexed or puzzled? Take Vitamin P.Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. (John 14:27)
Quitting? Take Vitamin Q.Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. In Quietness and confidence (trust) is your strength. (1 Corinthians 16:13) (Isa 30:15)
Restless? Take Vitamin R.Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. (Ps 37:7)
Scared? Take Vitamin S.Stay with me, and do not be afraid; for the one who seeks my life seeks your life; you will be safe with me. (1 Samuel 22:23)
Tired? Take Vitamin T.Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
Uncertain? Take Vitamin U.Understand that I am (the Lord). Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me. (Isaiah 43:10)
Vengeful? Take Vitamin V.Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "Vengeance is mine; I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)
Weak? Take Vitamin W.My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
eXhausted? Take Vitamin X.Exercise thyself rather unto godliness. (1 Tim 4:7)
Yearning for hope? Take Vitamin Y.Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You art with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. (Ps 23:4)
Zealous? Take Vitamin Z.It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you. (Galatians 4:18)
Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

When you feel...

Hi guys! Hope everything is well with you...miss you guys...just a quickie update for you....yesterday, we went to Manila my dad needs to stay in the hospital since he will need to flush and everything for his last chemotherapy...please pray with me..that he is able to do it without much side effects..the vomitting, nausea, uneasiness, sleeping problem, etc....He will also need to undero CT scan and some X Ray just to check if the C cells are spreading or is very important to be cautious when you have this kind of desease. And while I was at the ambulatory, I had a quick chat with a lady..not so old lady...she's from General Santos, Mindanao...and she is also having her treatment at St. Lukes...she's telling me that her malady started at the Nose, then, when it was cured, after 6 months, it came back but this time in a different body part...her liver...then she had undergone treatment again....and while the medicine is helping her recover from it, a new area in her body got affected...I'm not sure of the term to use, perhaps let me just describe it....the area near her butt is the one currently infected. I feel so sad...let us pray for her also, she's a very nice lady...and I can still remember when she was telling me the story I can see her sad eyes trying to stop the tears from falling.....I know God will help us...he will heal my dear dad and that nice lady.

Anyway...I want to share's worth watching my dear friends....

When you feel frustration:

When you feel nobody's beside you:

When you feel stressed out:

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhiarc
9/6/05 5:58 PM Permalink
I have committed myself praying for your Father's battle with the Big C, rest assured that I will include the nice lady with my prayers.. :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I'm back!

Yes, you read it right! I'm back! It's good to be back and I feel like a stranger in my own journal... weird huh? Well, I have a lot of updates for you guys n gals so buckle up!

Last August 13, we went to Manila to pick up my dad and my sister. Finally he can go home after 3 months and 2 weeks. He already finished his radiation therapy but he needs one more chemotherapy. So as early as 8 am me and my mom have everything prepared already since before my dad can come home with us, he needs to have one last check up with his oncologist. She wants to see my dad first to check if he is really in good condition to go home. We arrived at St. Lukes around 10:30 am and we waited for about half an hour. We thought everything was smooth but the Oncologist forgot the time that she'd be meeting us. She thought it was 9 am and said she waited till 10 am then left. Well, its actually fine with us and I understand that she thinks about a lot of things and she have to go to two different hospital. She stays in St. Lukes and E. Delos Santos Hospital. So since she already left, we went to E. Delos Santos right away since after her clinic hours in St. Lukes, she goes to the other hospital immediately. Since its still early, we went there and she even asked for her other waiting patients who came in earlier to wait for a while. She was happy to see my dad, he's healthier since the last time she saw him. She just informed us that it will be better to have his last chemotherapy done this week. And then he can have a longer vacation. :D He really missed our house, he's more comfortable in our house..(well duh! of course he is more at's his house after all! lol) I just hope that in his last chemo, there will be lesser nausea or vomiting and other side effects... I also want to thank all the wonderful people who have continued to give me their support and for continuing to pray for my dad. I am very grateful for having you. :) Even if me, my mom and my sister don't get the support we need from "some" of our relatives, you guys, were always there, you are the ones who fills up the holes and spaces in providing all out support. I love you guys! (sniff...sniff)

I haven't really told you the reason why I was unable to update my blog. Well...that is because I've been busy. Yes, just busy. I am a very busy that's one of my away messages. I knowyou want more details...Here we go.

I've been very busy lately due to moving to a new department, that is MOST. We had undergone one week training with all the new functions, and after that another week of speech/accent training since some of the queues will need to handle phone calls, but don't get the wrong notion that we are phone reps, no were not. :D The training was nice, each of us were given an opportunity to talk. Actually most of our activity during the training is focused on speaking in front of a lot of people...well not actually a lot of people, just my team mates and some coaches and CSS from the afternoon and morning shift.

But what I don't like with the training is that we have to come in early....imagine we have to come in to work 5 am and go home 2:45. For one week I am actually dragging myself to come to work. By 3 am I have to be awake for I have to prepare a lot and just to warn you, I'm not a morning person. It is so tiring. I felt that I'm going to get sick if I will be doing this for at least a month! I'm like a highschool/grade school student waking up early to join their school's field trip! LOL! On the other hand, what's good with this shift is that I get to see my long lost that moved to morning shift. It's been a veeeerrry long time since I last saw them. I was also excited to see Laren. I badly wanted to see her in her maternity dress. Her tummy is already big! :D I'm pretty much excited with the baby. I hope it will be a girl..Oh no! Another ina anak! I think I have to start saving now! I have lot of friends who are getting married (you know who you are...ahem..ahem....). I hope they'll decide to not to have a baby yet! lols! I have to save first! I guess I have to end it right here for the meantime, I'm already tired. Till next time! Have a great day!

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhimae
8/28/05 3:24 PM | Permalink
by the way, ang cute ng mga icons mo! pahiram ha?! :D#1 Comment from mhimae
8/28/05 3:22 PM | Permalink
I am happy and thankful to hear about the homecoming of your dad, collyn. You are very lucky to take him home alive and well, unlike my papa. But of course, we know my papa's homecoming is not at our house, its in heaven. God heard your prayers because he gave another chance for you and your family to be together once again. Cherish every moment of it. ( oh, of course I know you will! wink! ) God bless you collyn!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Being A Good Listener

Listening With An Open Heart
Being A Good Listener
Everyone appreciates a good listener. We all know how wonderful it is to be able to have someone to share our life with, whether it is the joys and frustrations of being a new parent, the excitement of a new career, the heartache of a lost love, or simple chitchat. At times, we all want and need to be heard. It is equally important then that we develop the skills to lend a helping ear to others.

Being a good listener means being an active listener by being fully present when someone is talking to you. Making eye contact when someone is speaking helps to connect us to one another. It also keeps us focused on what is being said, rather than what we are thinking. We need to not only hear words, but also to read body language and understand feelings. It goes without saying that we shouldn't interrupt someone when they are talking, or to judge and criticize, but often we fall into such habits without being conscious of them. By being fully present when someone is speaking we are better able to simply listen and give advice only if we are asked.

We don't have to agree with everything or anything that is being said, but listening with an open mind is respectful to the speaker and it allows us to understand the other person and ourselves better. By letting go of assumptions and hearing what is being said, as well as the tone of voice the speaker is using, we can better understand our differences and perhaps find some similarities.

Reflect back to the speaker that you understand and empathize with their feelings of happiness, anxiety, and/or sadness. Ask questions if you don't understand, but respect boundaries if the speaker seems uncomfortable. Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence in between words. Being a good listener is easy - simply listen with your ears, as well as your heart.

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Monday, August 8, 2005

God's Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

If you like this, send this on to the people you really care about. I did.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Happy Birthday

Hi all, I will be very busy for the whole week because of the training. Anyway, I just want to greet a good friend of mine, Ate Rosse, Happy Birthday! I know it's late but its the though that counts right?

I hope you have a great happy day today on your birthday (I mean last tuesday..hehehe) happy as I am to have you as a friend. Muah Muah!

Here's another beautiful fairy for you: ( fairy picking flowers again...

Have a great day to you all!

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Monday, July 25, 2005


Tonight is my last day here on the floor since I will be moving to the MOST department starting Monday. I'm a bit excited with this one since it is a big change for me. It's quite intriguing on what will be the type of work we will be doing since as of this time its a bit vague but comes our training for sure...we'll find out what its all about. Even though I'm excited with all these, a part of me feels sad leaving. Sad because I have friends that will be left. I will surely miss all the wonderful people that I have worked with. I will surely miss our own chika minute while we're waiting for member, the breakfast, dinner before coming in to work...I know these are still possible but the thing is we do have different schedule and day off and we will no longer be staying here on the floor. We will be moving at one of the training room.

Teti Tets I will surely miss all the new updates...hehehe..(u know what I mean), your so called beautiful voice and of course your "one-liner". Keep me updated with your celeb gossips ha...hehehe

Sexy Nhey don't forget your figure..remember the wedding dress! And don't forget to always bring coffee since you're such a sleepy head..hehehe...I will miss your "crazy" ~ ness.

Ate Arceli Samson I will surely miss your thoughtfulness, your weird and unbelievable but true stories (and corny jokes as well). Take care of Gless and Nhey and yourself too! Don't forget to inform me if you'll become the new stockholder of National Bookstore.

To those that I have not mentioned....I will surely miss you too! Sorry but I have a lot good friends here and if I were to mention all of you, this entry will be very looooong... . I'm sure you'll understand. Keep in touch okies? Check out the other dolls! hehehe...

This is Ann, she loves ballet. ( I think) LOL!

This is me, because I'm an Angel in disguise! ( Hey, I don't want to hear any negative reactions! Specially violent ones! Anyway, this is my journal!

Jen and Tong..nice couple!

Ate Rosse! Flowers again? New flowers for your garden.

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This entry has 4 comments: (Add your own)
#4 Comment from mhigless
7/24/05 5:49 PM | Permalink
Hey mga pre we will definitely miss u. Wag na wag nyo kaming pagpapalit ha kahit may bago na kayong mga friends. Syempre iba pa rin talaga mga origs diba? Pag pinagpalit nyo kami....MAGSESELOS talaga kami! at magwawala daw si ARC pag nangyari yon! bwahaha. Remember, she is your one and only child. ayaw nya ng may kaagaw!. :-D

Take care always! :-*#3 Comment from mhinhey
7/24/05 4:57 PM | Permalink
Yo! we will not miss u...but for sure you will miss us...hahahahaha. sana kahit na lumipat na kayo, di mo pa rin ako makakalimutan. at sana lang wag mo kami pagpapalit ha? kasi we're unique =) bakuran mo si honey ko huh? pero nice couple din kami ni papa xtian db???hihihihi, (isingit ba). Basta, take care always and keep in touch. baka magmalaki ka na rin nyan ha? (malaki ka na nga pala). o sya un lang po. Ako na bahala kay ArceliSam:P#2 Comment from mhimarj
7/24/05 4:02 PM | Permalink
I'll surely miss you, Collyn. Please take care of my dear friend, Nikki. I know you guys will eventually be good friends with her. Goodluck on your new team and queue. Muah!#1 Comment from mhiarc
7/24/05 1:25 PM | Permalink
bakeeeeeeeeeet yan ang picture ko..pwede namang smileys na lang akooo..

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness

I am extremely sad...sigh... last thursday, July 21, my sister called informing us that daddy needs to go back to the hospital, they have to confine him since he feels very weak and his cbc - hemoglobin is very low. He will be staying there till tomorrow but he is still under observation. Please do continue to pray for him and for my mom...She feels so heavyhearted right now. I'm wondering what's on her mind right now before she goes to sleep, as you all know I work in the night shift and I can't be with her to at least give her comfort...she's all alone right now... I'm feeling dumpish right now. Before I left the house, my mom was on the phone talking to my aunt, I heard her cry....I didn't know what exactly they are talking about since I'm already rushing to fix my things since it's already 9:10 and I'm still at the house. Tomorrow, I'll find out what it was but I'm sure it is about my dear Daddy. Aarrrgghhhh... I'm so grumpy right now! It's actually affecting my work and by the way, this is my last night here in MAS since me and Ann will be moving to MOST. It's our day off later then the training starts monday. What's so irritating is that our css is so annoying, he did an IPS with me a while ago and obviously he knows that I'm not in the mood then he kept on telling me very BAD and CORNY jokes and it's just so annoying! While he was telling me lame jokes, in my mind I'm already thinking of what I can possibly do to make him shut up.. I was already thinking of getting a duct tape or a needle and I want to sew his lips together so that he can no longer open his mouth! I know it's mean but..he so....okay, let's just drop it. I'm a good girly now. Anyway, it's a good thing that I'm seated where I'm seated right actually makes me feel better. And I'm with happy people here, so, it's actually helping....I wish everything will be back to normal.....

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This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhimae
8/10/05 12:33 PM | Permalink
My prayers are still with you and your family collyn.. my dad passed away already but the emotional trauma we went through at the time we were fighting cancer with him is still haunting us. There is still so much pain and helplessness. I do pray to God you won't have to experience what we are experiencing right now.. Just continue praying and believing in the ultimate plan of God. You will find great solice in Him.#1 Comment from mhimarj
7/24/05 3:56 PM | Permalink
I hope the next blog you will post will be good news about this update. :) You're very funny my dear. I had a laugh about what you mentioned about your CSS. You could have told him that the IPS he did for you was useless. It will no longer be needed since you were moving to MOST. I am glad you shared that thing with him for I know that to be an effective leader, you have to be sensitive enough to the feelings of others. The interaction can always be rescheduled. Anyway, enough of that too. I might say some things that will make me look bad. ;-)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Update on Daddy

It's been almost 2 to 3 weeks when they stopped the radiation. My dad's oncologist suggested to have it stopped (for the meantime)...the doctor was afraid that too much radiation can make the muscle very stiff and when this happens the chemotherapy will be useless, so they need to let the tissues relax and rest for a few weeks. Now, my sister dear called this afternoon after my daddy's check up she said that this morning they started the radiation again. The Oncologist called my dad's Doc ( his other doctor, he has a lot of docs) and informed him that he can go ahead and continue the radiation so far the doctor wants to give daddy 7 sessions, then they will evaluate and check if he needs more. Tomorrow is friday, time for his Chemo again...I hope he won't vomit that much..oohhh..the headache...sleepless nights,'s very hard to see him like this..I just can't help it...when he's asleep I just stare at as much as I would like to stop the tears rolling down my eyes, I just can't. It just really sad. I miss the days when we sit at our dining table and the whole family would just laugh about jokes, updating each and everyone about what happened with our day if it went well or what. Listening to each other's story, especially having dinner was the best. Do you think it'll happen again? How I hope it will. yeah..that's exactly how I feel...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::I'm pissed off!!!! I just don't understand why do some people have no consideration for other people's feelings? I just don't get..I don't if you can call it being "mean" or maybe the person is just ignorant...aarrggghhh... you decide.
Here is what happened yesterday....
Fat Lady: uy ning, musta na si Francis?
Mommy: on the phone, so she just waived telling her that she have an important call ( it was my sister on the other line)
Then another neighbor arrived...Zenny. By the way, the Fat Lady is one of our neighbors too. She is the type of neighbor whom you can call a "certified chismosa".
Zenny: o bat andito ka?
Fat Lady: Francis walang nang chance!
Zenny: ( no comment) she just glared at her. ( The look that tells you..will you just shut up if you don't have anything good to say?!) Then, the fatty lady just walked away...Good thing for her!
Even if my mom's on the phone, she heard everything...(in case you didn't know, my mommy have a bionic ears..hahaha...even if you just whisper..she'll hear it...really, I'm not may want to try it! ) Yes, as I was saying she heard what the fat lady said..and of coursemy mom was hurt she got offended...she's lucky my mommy did not comment on that..and she will not because for sure if she did it might start a small conflict and that is the last thing on my mom's head...she doesn't want to engage into those kind of mom is very patient, I can tell you that! I hope she realizes how hurtful she was. I hope she is "able" to use her head and think before speaking.
She doesn't have any right to say that. Only God knows when is the right time, not her, not me, nobody...God have a plan, and I'm not going to interfere with it, I just want to ask him to give us more time...I trust God and I know that he will not give my family something that we cannot handle... As long as I have God with me, I know I'm in good hands, so is my loved ones. (sniff..sniff.). seems that my Lacrimal Glands are functioning very well.
Till next time....

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This entry has 3 comments: (Add your own)
#3 Comment from mhimae 8/3/05 12:23 PM Permalink
I totally understand your situation collyn, having gone through the same fears and pain when my papa was receiving the same treatment in St. Luke's. There's an enormous feeling of helplessness in the situation and an immeasurable pain. Just hang on there and be brave for your dad. He gets his strenght in you and you get your strength from God. Remember, you have to L I V E STRONG for your dad.. My prayers are with you and your family.
#2 Comment from mhimarj 7/21/05 6:04 PM Permalink
Collyn, we're blessed to have such a loving family. With that, we have to thank God so much. Yes, you are right that He would not give us problems that we cannot overcome. Just keep on hanging there and let us pray harder for your dad. Soon, days you'll spend with your family will be back to normal full of simple joys.
#1 Comment from mhiarc 7/15/05 2:00 AM Permalink
God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him. I know you are toughAnd seeing that God is your source of strength, whatever comes your wayyou will not be moved or shaken. Godbless-- keep on praying.. i do.

The Rain

Just want to share an e-mail I received...this is nice...

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen, spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. "Dad, I'm thinking of something." This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old and had discovered. I was eager to hear. "What are you thinking?" I asked. "The rain! ;" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away." After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. "That's really good, Aspen." Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation? So I asked... "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?" Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us." I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on. Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


SoundCheck: The Beekeeper by Tori Amos
In this newest release from fiery haired songstress Tori Amos, you'll see that she is still constant with her soulful vocals and poetic emotion - filled lyrics. Amos puts her whole heart and soul into literally making beautiful music and communicating the depth of her emotion.
Sleeps with Butterflies is currently making waves in radio station and is the ideal mood music for you as you kick off your heels and choll out after a hard day at work.
If you're into this type of music, I also recommend you to check out her previous album Scarlet's Walk. One of the best track I recommend you to listen to is "A Sorta Fairytale". So what are you waiting for? Go check it out now!

~ Biography ~
Tori Amos (born Myra Ellen Amos) was one of several female singer/songwriters who combined the stark lyrical attack of alternative rock with a distinctly '70s musical approach.
Born in North Carolina but raised in Maryland, Amos was the daughter of a Methodist preacher. By the age of four, she was singing and playing piano in the church choir; she began writing her own songs shortly afterward. Amos won a scholarship to Baltimore's Peabody Conservatory based on her instrumental prowess. While she was studying at Peabody, she became infatuated with rock & roll, particularly the music of Led Zeppelin. She began writing pop ballads and performing in local bars. She moved to Los Angeles in her late teens to become a pop singer.
The harrowing "Me and a Gun" was an autobiographical song, telling the tale of Amos' own experience with rape. It gained positive reviews throughout the media, andboth the EP and the concerts sold well. Little Earthquakes, Amos' first album as a singer/songwriter, was released in late 1991 and sold well in both the U.S. and the U.K. In 1992, she released the Crucify EP, which featured three covers, including Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Led Zeppelin's "Thank You." Delivered in early 1994, Under the Pink, the full-length follow-up to Little Earthquakes, was a bigger hit, selling over a million copies and launching the minor hit singles "God" and "Cornflake Girl." Two years later, Amos delivered her third album, Boys for Pele, her most ambitious and difficult record to date. The album debuted at number two and quickly went platinum. Amos spent much of 1997 dealing with personal matters, including a miscarriage and a marriage, and working on her fourth album, From the Choirgirl Hotel, which was released in the spring of 1998. The two-disc To Venus and Back followed in 1999 to coincide with a tour with Alanis Morisette. In 2001, Amos returned with the covers album Strange Little Girls, which also marked her last release for Atlantic. The next year, she found a new label home with Epic and followed with Scarlet's Walk in October. Her eighth studio album, an autobiographical record titled The Beekeeper, was released in 2005.

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Goodbyes The Saddest Word

I would like to share one of my favorite songs....tears would just start rolling down everytime I hear this song....It's about a mother's love for her child....It reminds me of my mom.
Goodbyes The Saddest Word
Mama, you gave life to me turned a babyinto a lady. And Mama all you had to offer was a promise of life time of love. Now I know there is noother love like a mother's love for her childand I know love so complete someday must leave, must say goodbye oohh
***Chorus***goodbye the saddest world I'll ever heargoodbye is the last time I will hold you nearsome day you will say that word and I will cry itwill break my heart to hear you say goodbyeMama you gave love to me turned a young one into a woman. And mama all I ever needed was a guaranteeof you loving me. Cause I know there is no other love like a mother's love for her child. And it hurts that somethingso strong someday will be gone must say goodbye uuhhh yeah***Chorus***
but the love you gave will always be thereYou will always be there every time I fallyou gave to me the greatest love of allyou took my weakness and made it my strongyou will always love me to the end of alland when you need me I'll be there for you alwaysI'll be there all life through I will be there this I promise you. I'll be your light through the darkest nightI'll be the wings that guide your broken flight. I will be your shelter through the raining stormand i will love you till forever comes
***Chorus***till we meet again until then goodbye

Do you care bout your future?

The phone rang around 5 pm....time to get up and pick up my mom from the store. I don't feel getting up since I'm still sleepy. So I got up, wash my face, brush my teeth get the keys then I'm on my way....When I arrived at our store, my dear mama was already waiting outside. She asked me to help her go to the grocery store to buy some stuff for us to bring to Manila tomorrow. My dad asked my mom to buy some carrot juice for him...that's the flavor of the week. : I'm pretty sure next time it will be different, apple or grapes? I don't know...let's just wait and see.
I figured out that it will be best to pass by HensonVille to avoid the heavy traffic, and its much faster to get to Dau using that route. Then as we pass along Richtofen Street, I saw my two cousin outside their house, which by the way lives in HensonVille....I saw the two of them sweeping outside their front gate. When I saw them, somehow I felt sad. Here is why...
My cousin...( 4 siblings) ...3 of them already graduated from college. The eldest is 27 years old, the second one is 25 and the other one is 23. We were really not close with them, one main reason is that my aunt doesn't want her kids to be close to us..(actually not just long as it's her husband's side) maybe she have some insecurity problem or what...hehehe...that is why as much as possible she doesn't want any of my cousin coming over to our house or to other relative's house..I don't know what's with, back to the topic, yes about my cousin, they graduated already however none of them have jobs, they do have a family business, they have a paint center but they do not help in managing the business, they just stay at home sit, eat, watch TV, playstation ( a certified playstation addict) and sleep, everyday the same a way it makes me sad. They're lucky they still have their parents with them, looking after them, but I think they need to think of their future, what will happen if one day they wake up without their what are they gonna do?
Last month my uncle spoke with my mom telling her that he was really depressed, that's one of the main reason why he is depressed, he tried to convince his son to help or at least start to take over the business but he doesn't seem interested...It seems that my dear cousin don't have any plans for the future. He have a 3 year old son ( I think he is already 3 if not 4), but no, he's not married..he doesn't want to marry the mother, but from what I know, they broke up after the girl got pregnant and now they're back together. I think he needs to start to live his life seriously....parents are not always there for us....there will come a time that they cannot stay with us any longer, we do not know what might happen in the future, we need to get ready.
I just wish that he realizes that its time to make a change, live his life differently..more seriously and be more responsible...I just hope that what happened with my dad won't happen to his..They are lucky they have a healthy dad who can do things for them....for their family..and they don't have to do anything...And I hope they'll find time to have a good talk and bond...cause they do not have a good relationship at home...they don't have small talks, if they are at home, they just stay in their respective rooms not talking each other...time is running out..time flies so fast that we need to value time...time needs to be spent wisely..especially with our family...our loved ones...
I f only I can turn back time...Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Saturday, July 2, 2005


This entry is for a friend who moved her cheese to the MOST team. Last night's shift is her very last day with the whole team and of course her last day with us (her friends). We will surely miss her so much...(yuckers..plastic ang dating..hehehe)....We would miss calling her Aubrey, dekada, JenTong, Rochelle from the sex bomb dancer, and Jen Jen.
We have enjoyed each other's company, we've had ups and down but it didn't hinder us from keeping the friendship we had. If my memory serves me well, she was the first person I ever met here in AOL, she's the first person who approached me...for those people who thinks that she is snobbish, well, you're wrong she is one of the most friendliest person I know (the mataray thing? well its just the looks).
It's sad to see someone from your group leave, its been always the four of us, Me, Ann, TetiTets and her..Oh! sorry I mean five of us...but Laren already moved to MOST but we're still close, we always see to it that we're updated with what's going on with our boring lives..hehe... It's also funny that other people thought that our group had a fight and because of this she is moving to different queue...well that's wrong, she have other reason why she is moving besides she dreads to sleep at night she wants a normal life.
Is my entry full of drama or what?? Hehehe...any way my dear few readers, she's just moving to another queue, sorry if it soundedlike she's leaving the country..hahaha...well it's just we'll miss her...anyway we can still send email and text messages, right Jen? Okay, okay, enough of the Drama! Just keep us updated okay, especially your love life..wahahaha...(para kasing telenovela eh..sinusubaybayan namen). Goodluck girl! muah muah...from all of us.
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This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhimarj 7/21/05 5:35 PM Permalink
I can relate to you, Collyn. One of my dearest friends will be moving her cheese to MOST too. I'll definitely miss her for the time I will be spending with her will definitely become few and far between since she will no longer be in the floor. It saddens me that I might not be able to talk with her as often as I like to. I knew though that it's time for her to move on - to try something new. This will add spice to her life. Oh! I almost forgot you're going to move to that same department too and that means having Jen in the same queue. I will be missing seeing you in the floor w/ Ann. Anyway, who knows I might be moving my cheese too and join you in your queue in the future. ;-)

Friday, July 1, 2005

"La Resistance"

I guess some of you is familiar with "South Park" yeah, right! lols..I'm sure you do most of my reader are South Park fan especially the "Frog Killer". I was ummm...well kinda surfin the net and I came across with the lyrics of La Resistance. By the way, some words that are not suitable for a child like me is deleted...I changed them with a smiley icon.
God has smiled upon you this day the fate of the nation in your hands the blessed be the childrenwho fight with all our braverytill only the righteous standyou see the distant flamesthey bellow in the night you fight in all our namesfor what we know is right but when you all get shot and cannot carry onthough you die la resistance lives onyou may get stabbed in the headwith a dagger or a swordyou may be burned to deathor skinned alive or worsebut when they torture youyou will not feel the need to run forthough you die la resistance lives on
Here's the edited!
they may cut your in half and serve it to a pigand though it hurts you a blastyou will dance a jigbut thats the way it goes in war you're shat upon though you die la resistance lives on
Can you imagine that this was sung by children? comment...La Resistance! heheheWritten by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

"Which are you?"

Here's a good story on how to face life's challenges..

A young woman went to her mother lamenting the difficulties of her life. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that every time one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter." When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"r level handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?...

Beautiful, isnt it?...We can easily relate on it.
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?...Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Angels of Healing and Compassion

Angels of Healing and Compassion How to call on the angels to help you with your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health By David Lawson Excerpted from 'A Company of Angels: Your Angel Transformation Guide' by David Lawson published by Findhorn PressWhen you are sick, feeling lonely, feeling depressed, or lacking energy and unable to motivate yourself, you may wish to ask the Angels for their healing support. You may also choose to do this when you are preparing for, or recuperating from, an operation.
Just imagine your body, mind, emotions, and spirit becoming a magnet for angelic healing and ask angelic guardians to intervene by directing healing energy to wherever it is needed. You could imagine your angels placing hands, wings, or beams of healing light energy upon any area of your body that is in need of a healing boost, or simply picture them radiating light directly to your mind, spirit, or emotions. Do this regularly.
If you are lying in bed recovering from an illness or an accident, you could even do this several times every day. Just remember that the more you ask, the more you will receive.
Talk to your angels. If you can, be specific about your needs. You could ask them to bring you the healing that would help you evolve spiritually; you could ask them to comfort you during times of grief or heal the cause of your distress. You could even ask them to help your doctor, healer, or complementary therapist provide the best available treatment for your condition. What is more, if you wish to develop your own healing abilities to help other people, you could ask your angels for their guidance. When asked, angels love to point you towards the right books, courses, and tutors to build and enhance your skills in the best way possible. All you need to do is say is: "Angels, I need to find the perfect book about.... Please guide me in the right direction."
Exercise: Sending Angelic HealingFind a quiet, comfortable place to sit and relax. Breathe deeply, allow your eyes to close and use your imagination to contact the angels of healing. You may ask for healing for someone who is sick, someone who is lonely or isolated, someone who is grieving, or for any human need that another person may have. You may even send healing thoughts to someone who is quite well but who you instinctively feel may need a boost of confidence, joy, or inspiration.
Begin by thinking of the person whom you wish to send angelic healing. You do not have to know them intimately or even know their name, just focus on the information you have about them and trust the angels to make the connection with the right person. If you do know this person well, then take a few moments to think of them, remembering how they look or how it feels to be in their company as well as acknowledging their current situation. Ask the angels to surround this individual with healing energy and provide them with the love and support required to facilitate a process of spiritual transformation.
Picture this person surrounded by angels of healing. Each angel has a special gift to bring. Some may cheer and comfort; some may offer protection while others may bathe this individual with golden rays of healing light. If there is physical illness or disease, imagine the light creating balance and harmony throughout the body. If there is emotional distress, the light calms and brightens the emotions and brings a new sense of hope. If this person is recovering from an accident, imagine the angels using the light to disperse the fear and shock that may surround them and picture all breaks, sprains, burns or bruises healing rapidly.
Do your best to be as detached about the outcome as possible. When you are engaged in absent healing, it is not always possible to receive direct confirmation of effectiveness. Be content to send healing thoughts, ask for the help of the angels, and trust that the person in question will receive some healing or comfort. The form that this healing may take will vary and so will the results. All we can do is ask for the angels to intervene, send our loving thoughts and surrender to the will of the divine. If there is any practical support to be offered, you will be guided to do so.
Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhicollynEntry Author 7/2/05 9:55 AM Permalink
I think I know that person very well...hehehe..tnx :)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 7/2/05 1:00 AM Permalink
I have a friend who has this angelic face. She's overflowing with peace and calmness.. specially when she's wearing white blouse.. basta wag lang syang mag-tiger look.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Chasing Butterflies...continued

Everything went fine with my family as I grew up. I thought we would be a happy family forever not long until my father was diagnosed with Tonsilar Cancer last November 2003. Aghast at the result of his biopsy, I though it was the end of the world for me. I thought I'm going to die....I really felt sad. I even asked God why my dad. He's been a very good and loving father and now this? What will happen to him, to me, my mom and my sis. I was really depressed. Day and night the tears kept running down from my did not stop. He had undergone Linear Accelerator or what they simply call "radiation" and chemotherapy.
I believe in the power of prayers, most of our prayers before were answered that is why I know He will hear our prayers specially now. I kept on praying with all my heart. I asked God to help me understand why is this happening? I asked for his loving hand to touch each and everyone from my family to help us cope with this malady. Then, one day, before I went to sleep, I felt him with me, giving comfort and answers to my questions. I then realized that everything has a purpose, even this, I know that he will not let bad things happen..these are just trials and he will not give us any ordeal that we cannot handle. I felt that as long as I have him, everything will be alright. I even felt much closer to our creator.
As for my dad, the CA did not change his love for the Lord Almighty. He remained the same daddy we loved. It's very painful to see someone you deeply love to suffer from the damaging effects of radiation and chemotherapy - vomiting, nausea, loss of appetite since the salivary glands are burned, the tissues and muscles near the affected area gets burned ( you can even see it on his skin, it's so obvious that it was burned) even his voice was affected, there are even times when there is no voice coming out of his mouth....however, these are the only procedure that can help him. He cannot undergo surgery since it is very dangerous because of the nerve near the area, its too much risky. The treatment ended February 2004. It went well, the tumor was already cleared, and no cancer cells left. But he still needs to continue his regular check up once a month.
Then September 2004 they spotted it again. From his previous MRI and CT Scan they were already gone....and now its back. Again, same procedures were done, the treatment lasted 3 months and again cleared. This time after the treatment he goes to Manila every week for a regular check up.
His CA is a recurrent one, after a couple of months, it's back again. This time the CA is a bit more aggressive...he continuously suffers from headache and no medicine can help him. May 8, 2005 he finally decided to go to St. Luke's. We have new doctors and new suggested type of treatment. He stayed in the hospital from May 8 to May 29, almost one month. He even had surgery since they need to do gastronomy. My dad can eat through his mouth but, he has no appetite, that is why the doctors decided that they will need to put a tube in his stomach for feeding and it will serve as a support for his food intake. Until now he still have it. Maybe they will just remove it if my dad is really okay and if he can eat in larger quantity. He still undergo chemotherapy and the other one is IMRT ( the difference between IMRT and linear accelerator is with IMRT it only focuses on a specific area, while the linear is more general that is why even the normal tissues are getting damaged). I know this time the treatment will take longer but I am thankful for these doctors, they are very vigilant unlike the previous ones. And for one month we can see the great improvement with the treatment.
I'm still thankful each and every day. I know that God is making a way to help my daddy get better. I know it will take time but we are patient. Just like the headaches he used to have. Before even if he takes Morphine, the pain does not stop, it just lessens the pain. But now, the headaches are gone and no morphine :) I know that in times of trouble we are not alone, we're not walking alone instead he is carrying us. The doctors and people who continues to give support and pray for my daddy are God's instrument in helping my family cope with this challenge.
As long as I have HIM in my heart, my Mommy and Bhey, along with my wonderful friends ( you know who you are ), I know that this will not stopme from looking for a brighter day...a day of chasing butterflies...
During our lives we're faced with so many elements as well, we experience so many setbacks, and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and have a little hope. The Tour isn't just a bike race, it tests you mentally, physically, and even morally. --Lance Armstrong
***This is my version: The Tour isn't just a bike race, it tests you mentally, physically, morally, and Spiritually.Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

Thursday, June 9, 2005

Chasing Butterflies

If I will be given the chance to go back in time, I would preferably choose when I was a lil kid. Those were the days when all you can think of is to play all day , free of worries, happy endings and dream.....the days when I was Chasing Butterflies.
I grew up just like any other normal child. Go to school, learn and meet new friends. I have always considered myself lucky...I felt loved, protected, taken cared of and the most important of all being introduced to God. I felt like a diamond, that is how precious I am for my parents.
As I reach my high school years, my dad became my personal driver, yes that is right, hehehe. Even if he is very busy with the with his work, he always have time for me and my sister, he would drop us off to school and fetch us everyday. Even when I was in my college years, both of them ( with my mom) would wait till 9:30 in the evening just to pick me up from school. On the other hand, while my mom helps with the business, she still manages to be a very good mother. She would prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even if we have housemaid, she would be the one to prepare things for us. She always wants to be the one to do it. She is my bestfriend, she've seen the best and worst in me but still very considerate and understanding. I've got a wonderful parents that I am very thankful for. :)
Though, I was treated like a princess, I wasn't raised as a spoiled a very young age, they taught me the value of hardwork, money and be content with what we have. At the age of 6 we were already trained to do house chores, we have our own duties and responsibilities, if my memory serves me well, I do remember that we used to have a chart on what house chores to do. After completing the so called assignments, we can then enjoy TV and play time. It's kinda wierd though, but me and my sister actually enjoyed it we kinda thought of it as a contest. :) After finishing one chore, we would check our chart and compare who completed it first. It was inculcated in our mind that if we want something, we have to earn it.
Everything was well with my family, if I were to define a perfect family then this is it. I know most of you think that there is no such thing as a perfect family but for me, it is just a matter of perspective. Its like what is perfect for me is not perfect for you. Let me give you one good example, I saw a pair of earings and for me it's beautiful, but when it is your turn to check it out, you find it plain and ordinary...meaning what is beautiful for me may not be the same for the other person.
Oh how I wish to go back to those days.....
***to be continued***
Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhimitchee 7/9/05 6:40 PM Permalink
I am glad to hear that you have wonderful parents and that you were brought up nicely. :-) As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I would agree with you that one can really claim that there is such a thing as a perfect family. I believe that life is just a matter of looking at things from the brighter side, no matter how seemingly hopeless a situation is. GOD bless.
#1 Comment from mhiarc 6/12/05 10:18 AM Permalink
Nice sharing Collyn.. I enjoyed reading it.. hope you can get to post the continuation. :) No Pressure.. mwehehehe

Don't fear change, embrace it.

This is an old one, but I will post it again. :)

Don't fear change, embrace it. Nothing endures but change.
Changes comes to everyone's life...but the question is: "How do we embrace it?" For some people it is easier to get through difficult situation by accepting that life is not fair. But is that really true? I don't really know how to respond to that. I don't know if I should say, "Yes, it is unfair" or "No, it isn't" or " Things are just the way what they are." But one thing I do know. It is true that the rich and poor do experience the same ups and downs of life: birth, death, sickness, marriage, divorce, financial success, low/loss of income, etc. I guess what really matters is on how we react to this transitions. If we react negatively, it will not do any good to us. We take it negative because of one reason...FEAR. That is fear of breaking away from our "Comfort Zone." I have to admit it, I used to be one of those people, I used to ask myself with questions like what will happen to me and to my loved ones. I am so "used to" the life I had that I do not want anything to change. But it did made me realize that Changes are nothing to fear. In fact, they are doors opening to new growth, new experiences and new opportunities.Life has movement. It is a good thing to accept that tomorrow our life may not be like it is today. We just need to focus. The help we need is in our own hands, it is right in front of us. And of course, God guidance. The thing we have to remember is, when one door closes another opens.
Collyn C.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.

Sunday, June 5, 2005

My very first entry - Arc says it's LQ

There are a lot of things that I want to write about...well..that was the time when I don't have a journal, but now that I have one it seems like I'm having what they call "writer's block". Okay, okay, this is not my first blog, this is the 3rd one actually. I have one with bravenet but I do not update it, it's actually empty..hahaha. While the second one is from friendster and I think I have two entries..yeah you got it right...TWO! We'll I've been a bit busy lately that is why I dont have much time to update it. But I promise, I'll try my best to keep you updated about my life, my family, my friends and some wierdos around me. :)
By the way...look at this pic ..... to my friends, does she remind you of someone? I think her initial is A.S. lol!!! fish

I guess that's it for today. Hugs to my frendly frends. :)
#6 Comment from mhijobeth 7/4/05 3:04 PM Permalink
collyn gurl, thanks alot for giving me the opporunity to read your "kikay " journal. well, ive read the entry for Jen and I find it very sweet..well, i know how it feels if someone leaves specially if the person is so dear to you... =(before, i see your barkada as "hard to reach" type. but when the shift started, i was given the chance to be with you and know you more (all of you!) suddenly, i realized that my impression was wrong and you are all fun and cool to be with...thanks for accepting me as your new friend and i am glad to be part of your world! to jen: we will be missing you girl and keep in touch always mwah!
#5 Comment from mhirochelle 6/10/05 2:13 AM Permalink
Hi! Thanks for sharing this journal, Collyn. I njoyed reading it.. i miss d "incredible folks!"
#4 Comment from mhimaryann 6/5/05 4:05 PM Permalink
correction! MSTD led by Arc wahahahaha!
#3 Comment from mhinhey 6/5/05 3:58 PM Permalink
Yes, you are correct Arc...or it will be better to simply use MSTD next time...hehehehe
#2 Comment from mhiarc 6/5/05 3:53 PM Permalink
jebi- girl you don't have to complete my name this is a public display of complete name. Next time you just say Arceli Sam okay. Thanks.
#1 Comment from mhijobeth 6/5/05 3:26 PM Permalink
lols....i got scared...who is A.S.? is it arceli samson? lols...joke joke

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