Sunday, June 19, 2005

Chasing Butterflies...continued

Everything went fine with my family as I grew up. I thought we would be a happy family forever not long until my father was diagnosed with Tonsilar Cancer last November 2003. Aghast at the result of his biopsy, I though it was the end of the world for me. I thought I'm going to die....I really felt sad. I even asked God why my dad. He's been a very good and loving father and now this? What will happen to him, to me, my mom and my sis. I was really depressed. Day and night the tears kept running down from my did not stop. He had undergone Linear Accelerator or what they simply call "radiation" and chemotherapy.
I believe in the power of prayers, most of our prayers before were answered that is why I know He will hear our prayers specially now. I kept on praying with all my heart. I asked God to help me understand why is this happening? I asked for his loving hand to touch each and everyone from my family to help us cope with this malady. Then, one day, before I went to sleep, I felt him with me, giving comfort and answers to my questions. I then realized that everything has a purpose, even this, I know that he will not let bad things happen..these are just trials and he will not give us any ordeal that we cannot handle. I felt that as long as I have him, everything will be alright. I even felt much closer to our creator.
As for my dad, the CA did not change his love for the Lord Almighty. He remained the same daddy we loved. It's very painful to see someone you deeply love to suffer from the damaging effects of radiation and chemotherapy - vomiting, nausea, loss of appetite since the salivary glands are burned, the tissues and muscles near the affected area gets burned ( you can even see it on his skin, it's so obvious that it was burned) even his voice was affected, there are even times when there is no voice coming out of his mouth....however, these are the only procedure that can help him. He cannot undergo surgery since it is very dangerous because of the nerve near the area, its too much risky. The treatment ended February 2004. It went well, the tumor was already cleared, and no cancer cells left. But he still needs to continue his regular check up once a month.
Then September 2004 they spotted it again. From his previous MRI and CT Scan they were already gone....and now its back. Again, same procedures were done, the treatment lasted 3 months and again cleared. This time after the treatment he goes to Manila every week for a regular check up.
His CA is a recurrent one, after a couple of months, it's back again. This time the CA is a bit more aggressive...he continuously suffers from headache and no medicine can help him. May 8, 2005 he finally decided to go to St. Luke's. We have new doctors and new suggested type of treatment. He stayed in the hospital from May 8 to May 29, almost one month. He even had surgery since they need to do gastronomy. My dad can eat through his mouth but, he has no appetite, that is why the doctors decided that they will need to put a tube in his stomach for feeding and it will serve as a support for his food intake. Until now he still have it. Maybe they will just remove it if my dad is really okay and if he can eat in larger quantity. He still undergo chemotherapy and the other one is IMRT ( the difference between IMRT and linear accelerator is with IMRT it only focuses on a specific area, while the linear is more general that is why even the normal tissues are getting damaged). I know this time the treatment will take longer but I am thankful for these doctors, they are very vigilant unlike the previous ones. And for one month we can see the great improvement with the treatment.
I'm still thankful each and every day. I know that God is making a way to help my daddy get better. I know it will take time but we are patient. Just like the headaches he used to have. Before even if he takes Morphine, the pain does not stop, it just lessens the pain. But now, the headaches are gone and no morphine :) I know that in times of trouble we are not alone, we're not walking alone instead he is carrying us. The doctors and people who continues to give support and pray for my daddy are God's instrument in helping my family cope with this challenge.
As long as I have HIM in my heart, my Mommy and Bhey, along with my wonderful friends ( you know who you are ), I know that this will not stopme from looking for a brighter day...a day of chasing butterflies...
During our lives we're faced with so many elements as well, we experience so many setbacks, and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and have a little hope. The Tour isn't just a bike race, it tests you mentally, physically, and even morally. --Lance Armstrong
***This is my version: The Tour isn't just a bike race, it tests you mentally, physically, morally, and Spiritually.Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

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PinkChinadoll's bookshelf: read

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The Edge of Never
My Life Next Door
The Marriage Bargain
The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight
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