Saturday, December 31, 2005

Reversed Perceptions

We all have issues, as well as undesirable qualities or traits that we don't like about ourselves. Most of us realize that we are not perfect and that it is natural to have unpleasant thoughts, motivations, desires, or feelings. However, when a person does not acknowledge these, they may ascribe those characteristics to someone else, deeming other people instead as angry, jealous, or insecure. In psychological terms, such blaming and fault finding is called projection.When we are the target of projections, it can be confusing and frustrating, not to mention maddening, particularly when we know that we are not the cause of another person's distress. Even people who are well aware of their issues may find that sensitive subjects can bring up unexpected projections. They may feel insecure about a lack of funds and thus view a friend as extravagant. Or, if they really want to get in shape, they may preach the benefits of exercise to anyone and everyone. While we can try to avoid people we know who engage in projecting their "stuff" onto others, we can't always steer clear of such encounters. We can, however, deflect some projections through mindfulness and meditation. A useful visualization tool is to imagine wrapping ourselves in a protective light everyday. At other times, we may have to put up a protective shield when we feel a projection coming our way, reminding ourselves that someone else's issues are not ours. Although it's difficult not to react when we are the recipient of a projection, it is a good idea to try to remain calm and let the other person know if they are being unreasonable and disrespectful. We all know that it's not fun to be dumped on. Likewise, we should be mindful that we don't take our own frustrations out on others. When we take ownership of our thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings, we are less likely to project our issues or disowned qualities onto others. --From My Daily Ohm

~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave...they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Psalm 55

Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication! Attend to me, and answer me; I am overcome by my trouble. I am distraught by the noise of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked. For they bring trouble upon me, and in anger they cherish enmity against me. My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, "O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yea, I would wander afar, I would lodge in the wilderness, [Selah] I would haste to find me a shelter from the raging wind and tempest." Destroy their plans, O Lord, confuse their tongues; for I see violence and strife in the city. Day and night they go around it on its walls; and mischief and trouble are within it, ruin is in its midst; oppression and fraud do not depart from its market place. It is not an enemy who taunts me -- then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me -- then I could hide from him. But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to hold sweet converse together; within God's house we walked in fellowship. Let death come upon them; let them go down to Sheol alive; let them go away in terror into their graves. But I call upon God; and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he will hear my voice. He will deliver my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. God will give ear, and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old; because they keep no law, and do not fear God. [Selah] My companion stretched out his hand against his friends, he violated his covenant. His speech was smoother than butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords. Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. But thou, O God, wilt cast them down into the lowest pit; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in thee.

Collyn C.
~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave....
they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~

Friday, December 23, 2005

My Surprise Birthday Party! =)

I just want to share some pictures. :)
Last December 17, my friends planned a surprise birthday party for me and they did that with the help of my sis, Sheela. Boy, I was surprised. At first, I was planning to go out with my friend..unfortunately my sis convinced me to stay at the store, so I stayed there. Now, I know why...they had a plan....I just want to thank you guys! You're the best. :) I am so thankful for having wonderful friends like you.
A friend wrote me a letter....and I want to post it here. =) I hope you don't mind, don't worry..I will not post your name. :)
Collyn,Happy Birthday! Thank you for being a wonderful part of my world. Remember that you are a rare person and a special friend. Rest assured that aside from your Family, you are loved by your friends, that includes me. In my quiet moments with God, I never stopped thanking him for giving me a wonderful friend like you. I want you to know that you are special to me and I will never get tired of buying twister fries for you. :)If you have some errands to do and you need a bodyguard or alalay, I'm just a text away for sure I am always available. Basta ikaw. The gift of friendship is what I can offer to you right now because this is the only thing that money cant buy. You have everything you need, you're beautiful inside and out, you have lots of friends, friends who are loyal and who loves you so much. Your loving familiy and a job that keeps you busy.. If you are opening your doors for a romantic relationship.. I pray that you find the right guy and ikaw lang makakapag sabi kung sino yung right guy. If ever meron na you tell me his name I will help you pray for him. Just make sure that he loves you more than you love him neh. I just pray that all of the desires of your heart will be granted by God.. He will naman diba, as long as they are according to His will. And He will grant them in his own sweet and perfect time.I know a lot of people wants the best for you.. and I am one of them. I want the best for you.. kaya kahit di ako the best na friend mo.. I'm trying to be best just for you. :) You will always have a special place here in my heart. I'm committing myself to you, I will be your loyal friend.. and your friend forever.Alam ko di ka sanay na nagsesenti ako, pero lahat ng sinabi ko dyan walang halong biro.. totoo lahat yan. Happy Birthday !!!

Till next time my dear.....

Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/26/05 5:55 AM Permalink
Wow.. this friend really writes from the heart, I can feel the sincerity.. you're not only very lucky but very blessed to have this friend.. if I were you I will really keep this friend.. ;)

Thursday, December 15, 2005


I would like to share something about my daddy...He's been a very good loving father to us and a loving husband to my mother. We were loved, protected, taken cared of and the most important of all - being introduced to God. We were like Diamonds, that is how precious we are to our daddy.He strived hard to give us a good life, good education and be provided us with everything we need and asked for.My dad is a cheerful man, he never lets a problem get the best of him. Whenever he gets into an argument or talks about life and everything, he would always say " ham ham lo, boi iaw kin" (meaning no problem, it's okay, don't worry about it).He has always been a good friend and very generous not only to his family but to others as well.Last November 2003, he was diagnosed with the Big C. The cancer did not change his love for the Lord Almighty. He remained the same daddy we loved. Despite of his illness, he humbly served the Lord by teaching the kids in the church to form a musical band. All throughout his life music has been his passion and he really enjoyed playing music for the Lord.We're still thankful each and everyday. I know that God has a plan for us and everything happens for a reason. I know that God doesn't want our dad to suffer anymore. He's at peace now with our creator.Only God and my dad knows how much we loved and cared for him. He is our angel. He will always be in our hearts with all the wonderful memories.He may not be a perfect father but he is close to being one...Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
#2 Comment from mhiarc 12/20/05 6:39 AM Permalink
just imagine this, in heaven, God with his arms wide open welcoming your Father saying "well done my good and faithful servant." smile my friend :)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/19/05 7:47 AM Permalink
death is all in the circle of life.. from what you have written, I can say that your dad has served his purpose in life... :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

My Loss

Hi! I missed you guys :) I've been busy and I know that most of you know what have just happened. My daddy passed away and joined our good Lord Almighty last November 25, 2005. For those who didn't know what happened, I'll give you the details.November 12 (Saturday). My daddy's mouth is starting to bleed, when he spits, his saliva includes blood. We were alarmed so we tried to call his doctor for check up. Unfortunately his doctor is in Paris and she will only be back Monday, so we have to wait till Monday to see her.November 13 (Monday). Daddy went to Manila with Sheela, my sister. His Oncologist was even surprised when she saw my daddy. She said he looks better and he gained weight..well, that is true...everyday he have is exercise. After his second feeding around 9 am, he stays in the garden with me and my sister and we usually walk with him. After 2 rounds around the house, he takes his seat and rest for a while, then after 10 to 15 minutes, he'll walk again. He does this everyday. Then every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, me and my sister will take him to Mount Carmel for his physiotherapy. He could even walk up the stairs, that is why we were confident that he is strong but of course he have to do it slowly. While my mom, she prepares the food for my dad every morning, she have a list of menu or diet plan for daddy. His Oncologist was happy of the result. However, she is uncertain with the wound around the right side of his neck. It has an open wound and if he moves that requires a lot of force, it would usually bleed. She saw this and told my sister to talk to Dr. Roasa, his EENT. So they left St. Luke's then headed to UST to see the other doctor. The result was disheartening. He said that the neck area was fine, however the reason why he bleeds is that the cancer cells are already eating up his blood vessels. We are able to control the cancer cells in the neck area that is why it spread to his blood vessels. And he said that daddy may die either of bleeding or difficulty breathing. Daddy didn't know this. We do not want him to know, but I know deep inside he knows it. It was really hard to accept it but what? We couldn't do anything but to continue to pray. We only have prayers...nothing but prayers. Only God knows what's best. Its hard to control the emotions. Every time we're with daddy, we have to stop crying and show him that we're happy and smiling. We cannot cry in front of him...if we do, it will surely break his heart and this might affect his condition and we do not want that to happen.November 15 (Tuesday). Around 3 a.m. Daddy woke up and he went straight to the rest room then back to his bed to sleep. Then 6 a.m., time for his feeding, my sister is trying to wake him up but he is not opening his eyes. He's also not moving but they checked his blood pressure and pulse, they're okay, just normal. But still, he's not waking up. My sister called our uncle and aunts, so that they can rush him to the hospital. I was on my way home from work at that time and I didn't know what was happening. While driving I received a call from my sister asking me where I was but when I asked her why she is asking she didn't say anything. She said she's just asking then hung up. I know something was wrong so I hurried to go home. When I arrived, my mom and my sister were still waiting for my uncle to arrive. We tried to wake him up again but still same result, then we decided to just bring him to the hospital and we didn't wait for my uncle. Me, Mommy and Ann Ann with the help of our two house helper, we carried our dad to the car.When we arrived at the hospital, the doctors on duty wants to put some tubes in his throat and they were planning to put a hole in his throat, we asked them if it will help daddy but they said it will only clear if there are phlegm. We also called his doctor from Manila and asked him if that is the best thing to do, because we really do not want my see my dad with tubes and will not even help him. And he said that this will no longer help daddy, we will just make him suffer more, the doctor told us that all we need to do is to pray, that if this is the time that God is taking him, just surrender to his will. And we did.....I was so greatest fear has finally come...losing a father. It's really devastating. I just can't believe what has just happened...the night before I left I was just talking with him, and I slept beside him...then now...this...I'm about to lose him. The doctor said that most probably he only have 24 to 48 hours to live....the pain that we felt is so deep...words cannot describe and express the hurt that we are feeling.
Around 7 in the evening, me and mommy went home to get some pajamas for daddy and other things since we will be staying at the hospital. While we were packing our things, I received a text message from my friends saying that daddy is finally awake. I immediately called my sister and she said that he is awake...Me and Mommy were so happy that we immediately went back at the hospital to see him.
The next morning the doctor was also surprised to see my daddy --that he was finally awake. The doctor advised us to just bring him home since he's already fine. So we took him home. After what happened we noticed that his left hand and left legs were weak already. When he stands, we need to hold him to support him, we would usually put his arms around my shoulder, on the other side, my sister. We would have to walk slowly and my mother would hold his legs so that he wouldn't trip. Although he is weak, he still wants to stand and walk. The following morning, mommy and daddy were talking and my mom asked him if he knows what happened last Tuesday...he said that he didn't know that he was sleeping that long, he said that it was like he was traveling and he said that he was very tired. He said that it was like riding an airplane, all he can see is white and there are no other people. Then mommy told him that next time, if he's going to travel he have to tell her first. It was a miracle, our prayers were answered, God gave us another chance to be with our dad.
November 25 (Friday) After work I went straight home with Ann because we were planning to go to SSS to apply for an ID later that morning. When we arrived, I stayed in his room with Mommy and Ann, we were just talking. Around 8:00 a.m. Me and mommy bathe him and changed his pajamas. Before we left, I even told my dad that I will be coming home late since I will have to go to SSS with Ann and he even nodded. Same with my mom, she told my dad that she will go and open the shop, then he nodded. He was okay when he left him. 9 a.m. - My sister changed his shirt again because he was sweating. Then she cleaned his wound, my sister is the one who always do the dressing...well, that's because she's not afraid of blood, unlike me (I remembered when I first saw him bleed, I almost fainted!), my sister is the tougher one. After cleaning and dressing, helped my dad to lie down to take a rest. Then daddy closed his eyes, in a few seconds, he just stopped breathing......My sister immediately checked the pulse and his heartbeat....She can hear daddy's heartbeat beating slowly and slowly until it stopped.......Sheela, immediately called me and mommy told us to come home immediately. I was in the middle of the line securing an SSS ID when I received the call, my sister told me that daddy stopped breathing...I immediately went back home then I called my uncle to have him pick up my mom from the shop but they did not tell her yet....she only knew what happened when my sister called her greatest fear has finally come...losing him. When we arrived home, I was still hoping that daddy will suddenly open his eyes...but no...he was I stare at him...I can feel that he is at peace. It seems like he was just sleeping...I knew that this day would come but I didn't expect it to be this quick. My world came crashing down..... It's difficult to accept losing someone very dear to our lives....but we need to move on. I know this is the best for him. God is good. He didn't want my dad to suffer anymore. He is in a better place now. He is our angel and I know he is watching over us. He will always be in our hearts.
~ Those who are dearest to us never really leave....they live on in the way they cared, loved and made us happy. ~
God keeps his promise and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.Written by mhicollyn Blog about this entry

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
#1 Comment from mhiarc 12/19/05 7:33 AM Permalink
My heart goes out to you and to your family. God always takes the good ones :) He is now with the Creator... and remember you have us.. youf friends.

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