Thursday, September 21, 2006

Speak No Evil

Why gossip is bad for your soul
By Lori Palatnik with Bob Burg
*(an excerpt)

A nineteenth-century folktale tells about a man who went about town slandering the town's wise man. One day, he went to the wise man's home and asked for forgiveness. The wise man, realizing that this man had not internalized the gravity of his transgressions, told him that he would forgive him on one condition: that he go home, take a feather pillow from his house, cut it up, and scatter the feathers to the wind. After he had done so, he should then return to the wise man's house.

Though puzzled by this strange request, the man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance. He quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the house.

"Am I now forgiven?" he asked.

"Just one more thing," the wise man said. "Go now and gather up all the feathers."

"But that's impossible. The wind has already scattered them."

"Precisely," he answered. "And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak."

How interesting it is that we, as human beings, so quick to believe the bad that others say about someone, so accepting of the "news" contained in print and television tabloids, and so ready to assume the worst regarding another's actions, actually allow ourselves to believe that the evil we spread about someone won't really matter. Incredible that we can't seem to immediately and resolutely accept the fact that the gossip we speak can--and often does--significant damage to that person.

Bob's friend, Paul Myers, says, "Gossip is like a fired bullet. Once you hear the sound, you can't take it back." That is what the man in the above story found out in a very disappointing, shameful moment of self-discovery. And it isn't just what we say about someone to others, but what we say to that person directly as well. We've all been told that "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me." We also know that is totally untrue. While a body will typically recover from a physical injury, the harm caused by direct insults can sometimes last a lifetime, and tear the self-esteem right out of a person.

On the other hand, kind, encouraging words can build a person's self-esteem, help him or her to grow and give them the impetus they need to do great, significant things with their lives. The choice regarding how we speak about or to someone is ours. It's called "free will."

Things to be thankful for:
1. Another wonderful day to spend with family and friends.
2. No Sup calls for today.
3. The proposal for 9:30 shift was approved instead of 10 pm (that is before DST starts, but I'm still thankful for it)
4. I was able to arrive at work on time. I almost forgot that I have to report to work an hour earlier..wheeew! Thanks to my sis, she was able to wake me up (yeah...she was shouting at me).
5. I was able to beat Sheela's (my sis) score in Need4Speed! woohoo :) She used to tell me "nakaka awa ka naman...tsk..tsk...tsk..."
6. Long nice chat with my sis at heart NiQ. Miss u dearie.

No comments:

Post a Comment

PinkChinadoll's bookshelf: read

Up to Me
The Secret of Ella and Micha
The Marriage Mistake
The Marriage Trap
Fallen Too Far
Unlikely Allies
Ride with Me
Graffiti Moon
Teach Me
Graffiti Moon
Love's Rhythm
The Edge of Never
My Life Next Door
The Marriage Bargain
The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight
Losing It

PinkChinadoll's favorite books »